How do you know if you are ready for a second child? Or that you even want a second child for that matter? For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted two children; one boy and one girl. Your typical cookie cutter family but I would be happy with whatever nature blessed me with. There was even a point during my pregnancy that I thought maybe I’d like to have more than two. Big families are great right? We could each learn a different instrument, wear matching outfits and tour the country as a family band!
It wasn’t long after my daughter was born two years ago that I started to wonder, “Do I really want to do that again?” While this pregnancy ended well the thought of possibly going through all the same challenges and heartbreak as we had in the past was enough for me to start searching for chastity belts online. Or at the very least start sleeping in separate rooms which, for the couple of months my daughter wouldn’t sleep through the night and made one of us sleep with her, was actually the case!
Besides remembering the pain of labour and everything else, I just started to question whether or not I actually wanted another child. I started to evaluate whether I felt my family was complete as it was or did I feel there was something missing? Do I want to split my attention between two little ones who feed off attention? Will my daughter be jealous of the baby and start acting out? What if I end up loving one more than the other? What about the dog? She would slide right off the attention scale if we brought another baby home. She’s not a huge fan of the first one to start off with!
And what about my daughter? Will she benefit from having a brother or sister? Someone to play with (then blame when something is broken). Will she learn to share and play with others… but doesn’t she learn that at daycare already? Is a sibling really necessary for her social development or will I just be inviting drama and chaos into my already chaotic home? What about if she is an only child? Will she be lonely? Who will be her best friend and who will she share her secrets with?
In the end, I don’t think one scenario is better for the kids over the other. Kids adapt to their environment and deal with what they have. Plus, it’s not like they know the difference. It just is what it is. I know the decision has to be made between me and my husband and what we think is best for our family. And I’m pretty sure I’ve made up my mind…